Stay at Home Parent vs. Working Parent

Which type of parenting is best for your baby?

Parenting is hard. Finding childcare is hard. Finding affordable and high quality childcare is even harder. Working and going to school is hard. We take on these big, monumental projects because we want to grow, add to the world, provide opportunity for others, etc. AND at the same time we want to show up for our babies. We want to not be so exhausted so that we can cherish the moments that are so fleeting. I see all of the work. The mental loads. The to do lists. The going above and beyond for the promotion. The all nighters to finish that grad class. The changing the sheets for the 5th time in one night because the stomach bug is blowing through your house.

I see you. Parent, you are doing hard things. You may not know how in the moment, but somehow you are doing it.

And may I add quite well! If you are reading this right now, you are on a mental health therapy blog because you are wanting something different. You are being intentional with your time and your energy. Because you want to be a good parent, good spouse, good human.

I see you trying. I see you showing up, reading this blog to do better, see better, show up better because you care deeply about yourself and your little one.

Therefore, hear this from a mental health professional that works with parents all day healing the shame because their way doesn’t look like somebody else’s:

There is no such thing as a perfect parent and there is no such thing as the perfect way to parent.

Shed the judgement & let go of the guilt

Let us shed the judgement for others who are parenting in a different way and close the gap of guilt that we feel when we aren't parenting like our friends. We are all trying to care for our kids and sometimes this means feeling fulfillment from your passion so you can show up at dinnertime and bedtime and be present. Maybe this means staying at home with your kids and building a play based curriculum because your really value education and comfort for your babies. Maybe this means working from home so you can be the one to pick up your kid when they get hurt and comfort them but also show them what hard work looks like as your build your own company from the ground up. In each of these scenarios, THE PARENT IS SHOWING UP. The parent is showing up for themselves and for their kids.

The way you show up does not have to look like somebody else.

Step into your parenting power.

So let’s stop comparing our parenting to others because it only leads to shame and guilt. Let us look within ourselves so we can ask what we need as parents, or rather even as humans, to be able to show up for our little ones AND show up for our selves. This may be staying at home, working from home or being a full-time working parent. Every one of these options can lead to intentional and connected parenting. Step into your parenting power and leave the guilt behind.